I was in training all day and away from news, media, and my phone. I came back to at least 10 messages from friends and family asking if I heard and promptly telling me that I can never run Boston, no matter how much it means to me.
I still haven’t completely wrapped my head around everything that happened today. I’ve felt sick to my stomach. I almost didn’t even run today after work. I didn’t particularly want to, but I knew I had to. Outside I went, quickly I started to forget about everything that made me upset today and took it out with a fast mile in the middle of my run (totally didn’t want to do that). It killed the rest of my run, but it was needed to just get a few moments to myself with music and away from all that nonsense. It didn’t matter how far I went today or what my pace was. I flipped my Garmin so I couldn’t read it and just ran.
Honestly though, now that I’m back reading and watching the news… how could somebody even do that?
I was a little young to really feel the impact of 9/11 because I didn’t even know what the World Trade Center was. I didn’t know what that meant other than it was terrible. I was only 13, but I wasn’t cultured enough to understand the magnificence. This really hit home. One of my best friend’s Mom has qualified and run Boston more than a handful of times. Her entire childhood was spent following her Mom around the United States for marathons. Her entire family regularly runs Boston. Not to mention, this is a dream of mine. It happened today, why not again? Thankfully, everyone I knew or knew of is safe today.
I loved to hear how everyone came together immediately afterwards, particularly those who just finished rushing to go donate blood.
But I have nothing else. I’m still speechless. Speechless and sad.
Boston is such a fabulous run, something to be excited about. Now there is a huge dark cloud over this day; a day so many people strive to reach and when we should be celebrating. It’s disgusting to think about what today has turned into.